Unspoken
by TaleNeverTold
Summary: When Catherine receives an unexpected set of letters she's not quite sure how to handle...


**This oneshot is dedicated to beautiful and talented beastie TeamCatcent, aka Evil Queen Brit.**

* * *

_Words unspoken, _

_Tears unshed, _

_Trust unbroken, _

_Look!_

_Just look what life _

_W__e could have had…_

* * *

Knock on a door. But he never knocks…

Catherine opened a door to find JT awkwardly leaning on her door frame.

- Hi.

- Hi, - she responded and moved aside inviting him to come in. Her mind immediately went to the worst case scenario of why would JT come:

- Is Vincent all right? Has he gone missing again?

JT shrugged:

- No, he's fine. I came on my own.

- Oh… Why?

JT was silent while she closed the door and came back to him where he was seated by the table. JT handed Catherine a box:

- I came to give you this.

She eyed him then the box and asked again:

- What's this?

JT smiled on her quizzical expression:

- You know, it's easier to open it to see for yourself.

Catherine nodded absentmindedly and took a box. She opened it to find a set of folded papers with a very much familiar hand writing…

- You brought me back Vincent's letters for Alex? Why would I need them? I was the one who gave it to him, remember?

JT shook his head:

- Alex was not the only one Vincent has ever written to… and not the one he kept writing all these years.

Catherine looked surprised – why would Vincent write to anybody while in hiding? JT answered her silent question:

- He was writing to his mom.

He fiddled a stack of papers (Catherine noticed that letters were arranged chronologically) to find the earliest dated letter. The number on it said "15th of July, 2002".

JT took a letter not opening it, just looking at a date.

- This was a letter Vincent did not send her from the army… Things were getting difficult and it escalated so quickly that he just didn't have a time to mail it. But he kept it anyway… One day I'd found him reading this letter… and trembling. With grief and loss and fear.

JT ran his fingers through his tangled curls and spoke passionately:

- Cat, you must understand. To him it was a letter from a guy who died, was buried… he had seen his mom crying over his grave and couldn't even say a proper goodbye to her…

His voice dropped:

- I prompted Vincent to write to her. Keep writing so one day we would give all these letters to her. I thought it would help Vincent, give him a light in the end of the tunnel. Maybe I was right and it helped… maybe it had no effect on him… but Vincent kept writing. A lot.

Catherine looked through the papers – not more than twenty pages:

- Not so much writing for ten years.

JT's respond was rough, almost angry:

- He'd tried burning them all! These are the ones I managed to snatch away from him!

Catherine said in soothing voice:

- Burn? Why?

Life has drained from his face and all of a sudden he became too composed. He motioned to the upper letter. The date said "14th of January, 2010".

- She died. Heart attack.

Catherine bit her lip realizing how rude was her previous comment. Sorrow on JT's face gave away the painful truth – he loved that woman, Vincent's mother.

- What was she like?

JT's gaze became unfocused like he was traveling back to the happier memories:

- She was nice. Beautiful even. But that's not what was special about her… She had this smile… when you came into room her face lit up like she was waiting for you all day long and now she is completely happy to see you! It felt so warm… and she made the best cookies ever!

Catherine smiled and nodded. She knew this feeling. A feeling of a mother.

They were silent for a while… Catherine was caressing the ribs of folded pages not really sure if she should open them or not.

- Why have you brought these to me?

- Catherine… you should realize something. None of us – not me, certainly not you – understand how these last ten years had been for him. Forever in hiding from Muirfield, from the Beast… forever longing for normal life… the old one he had.

Catherine tried interrupting him but he didn't let her:

- Shhh, I know. I'm totally with you on this one – the way he ran off with Alex was totally uncalled for, especially from perspective of… two of you.

He'd made this uncomfortable shoulder movement like he didn't really know how to discuss… them. But that didn't stop JT from saying his piece till the end:

- I just thing this may help you to understand what kind of person Vincent is, what he's made of, what he wants from life if we will ever get him one…

Catherine looked at the box that held so much more meaning now. What if it was true? What if these twenty pages held all the answers?

- What's in here? In these letters, I mean? What does Vincent write about?

JT shrugged:

- You'll have to read them to find out. I never read any of it. These are not mine, nor for me. But I took up a duty to keep them safe… so would you please return them to me once you're finished, OK?

And with that JT stood up to leave:

- JT, wait! If you haven't read these maybe I shouldn't too?

He looked Catherine right in the eyes, his gaze full of unwavering conviction:

- The deepest truth about my best friend is on those pages. He wrote to his MOM! When he was exited, when he was upset, in anger or giggling uncontrollably like an idiot he is… I don't know which letters I managed to save but all of them are him. Vincent. And apart from his mom I know no other person who has more rights on him and these letters than you. So… read.

And with that he closed a door behind him.

* * *

Most of the time the dates on the letters were written in different ink than the letters itself. Like if Vincent forgot to put date at first but marked it afterword. It could have not been JT who'd marked them… but Catherine could have bet it was JT who'd organised them in order.

She took the first letter. The one that was never sent…

* * *

**07/15/2002**

_Hi mom!_

_There are so many things I want to tell you… but y'know – the secrecy thing I mentioned._

_But all is fine, I feel fine. Our… supervisor, really lovely lady… she says that soon our service will be over and we can move on. Only I'm not sure if "moving on" means going back home or new assignment… I kinda think it'll be an assignment but what do I know – I am to follow orders, not much for my own will here…_

_I know that you are shaking your head now and smiling your sad smile. I know… it was my OWN WILL that brought me here… but I had to, mom, I had to. I'm sure you understand why…_

_Love, Vincent_

_P.S. Not sure I will be able to send this letter to you soon… it's a bit complicated. But I will manage, mom!_

* * *

**08/27/2002**

_Mom, I'm scared. These things… they happen to me… and I'm scared both of not being able to control it and… and I'm scared of IT! Mom, it's…_

_Mom, I'm a monster now. Literally. And I've killed a man._

_Now… I want to die…_

_Only… I want to live so badly._

* * *

**09/16/2002**

_Hi, mom!_

_I decided I would keep writing to you. JT says it will help me to stay focused. Because now it's my only focus – to get normal again, to be able to give these letters to you one day._

_Yeah, remember JT? I'd founded him. Scared the hell outta him… But you know JT, his a tough little trooper, he shrugged it off and started scolding me for choosing the wrong time to beast out on him… because I broke his computer before he could save his leveling up in Heroes._

_Mom, it's a video game =)_

_But seriously, mom, if I will live long enough to give these letters to you… it's because of JT. He's just… he makes it so normal for me. Like I'm sick or something. Like it can be cured. Like it's just a matter of time._

_Mom… I will do whatever it takes to get back to you. You've lost too much already. If there's one son I can bring home to you – I will! Promise!_

_Me_

* * *

**01/07/2003**

_I saved a girl today._

_Remember that supervisor lady I've told you about? Mrs. Chandler… Well, she wasn't a supervisor, she was my doctor. She did… this… to me. But she's not bad, no! I do believe she thought that it will work… But sometimes science experiments turn into mistakes. I'm one of them._

_But she tried to help us when these blackouts started happening. The ones when I'm… not myself. I don't even know what I am when I'm beasting out, I don't remember any of it._

_I thought I would track down Mrs. Chandler and ask her to help me with a cure… if there is any. But… they've gotten to her first._

_I did save the girl though. At least I think I did. I don't remember much of it but I do remember the girl._

_She was afraid of them… but she was not afraid of IT._

_She has hazel eyes._

_Her name is Catherine._

_…_

_Bye, mom._

_V_

* * *

**03/27/2003**

_Hi, mom!_

_I went to see you today._

_JT was totally against this idea so I had to bring him along. He kept bragging all the way to your block making up his tombstone inscription over and over again. The best one was "Here lays a man who's science genius was never fully discovered because his best friend was stupid enough to get them both killed. Best friendship is thus deemed overrated". I told him it would never fit on a tombstone. He said that since I'm the one who's gonna get us killed I don't have a say in this matter._

_But I just needed to see you._

_You've lost weight. I bet you don't eat properly. You should, mom, you know? It's my medical opinion!_

_Feels kinda silly writing these instructions to you knowing you wouldn't get it for a while… if ever. But I'm trying to stay positive that we will meet eventually…_

_Actually, JT is MAKING me to stay positive 'cause he threatens to add endorphin to my tea (I don't drink coffee anymore… nothing energizing for that matter… or alcoholic… haven't had a beer since forever… I've missed it) if I'll continue to drag his mood down with my "sulky face and pseudo-fatalistic talks". Sometimes I think he doesn't really like me…_

_But then again… the next day after I beasted out on him he came back home with a tranquilizer gun (a significant doze of sedative in it, I should add) and a carpenter set. JT said that from now on I will have to fix all the furniture I break myself… 'cause his paycheck won't be enough to support a fugitive soldier and pay for our house renovations every now and then._

_Mom, when we'll come back to normal, bake him chocolate chip cookies he liked so much, OK? Just… you know…_

_Love you,_

_Vincent_

_P.S. I'm surprisingly good with carpentry._

* * *

**04/04/2003**

_Hi!_

_Umm… I've seen her today. The girl. Catherine._

_She dropped out from the law school – that much I could gather from her conversation with her dad. They were arguing actually. But she stood her ground and he had to back away eventually. She's going to law enforcement now…_

_At first I thought it's some PTSD stuff that she's experiencing and it will pass… but she seems very determined to be in control of her life. To never be hurt again. And not let anybody else to be hurt._

_Strange thing is… I feel like I know her. I know that saving her does not give me any magical passage to her soul… but I still have this… connection. Like I know what she thinks about, what her intentions are…_

_Weird, right? But it's so… calm. Peaceful. Hopeful._

_JT says it's probably because she reminds me that… beast… is not ALL that bad… if it saved somebody's life._

_But I think it's because of her. The girl. Catherine._

_I won't say it to JT though – he would make fun of "connection thing" and say I'm in love. Crazy! No one falls in love just like that! And I won't probably ever see her again…_

_So… yeah… bye, mom._

_Miss you,_

_Vincent_

* * *

**06/21/2005**

_Hello, hello, hello!_

_I don't have much time but I wanted to tell you this story…_

_So yesterday JT said that he has to make use of me somehow and since I supposedly have a semi-science education (he has very little respect for doctors… especially after… you know) I will have to help him grade these gazillion tests that are due today._

_You have no idea, mom, how much fun I have had! It's just so… real! And practical! And for the first time I actually feel like I can co-exist with a world and be useful… even if nobody would know what useful things I do for JT… still, it feels good to help him out considering how much he's doing for me._

_OK, back to work now – I really do have a stack of papers to read… And since JT teaches some advance biochem class I have to bring my A game not to make fool of myself =)_

_Bye, mom_

_Me_

_P.S. Should I tell JT that one of his students made a doodle of him on one of the pages? I graded that paper as "C minus" for the biochem stuff and "A minus" for creativity ("minus" for getting JT's nose wrong)_

* * *

**02/28/2006**

_Mom, just a thought. These letters seem kinda random, don't you think? I don't write them all that often and even if I got lucky and I'm out at the open and brought them to you myself… they don't exactly constitute a dairy of my life, don't they?_

_Then why do I keep writing these?_

_Oh, yeah, right, therapeutic reasoning courtesy of doctor JT Spock! This guy acts like he knows all there is to know! But… maybe it's what keeps me sane… that JT doesn't lose hope._

_He keeps researching and doing all kinds of tests… and we know so much more already! But… it's just hard. To be away from you, dad, friends, work… life._

_But I will manage, mom. I promise._

_Your son_

* * *

**09/11/2007**

_They almost got to me today. I went to the cemetery and two men followed me back. They tried keeping their distance – obviously there were too few of them to engage in the combat with the beast._

_I fled and lost my tail. I spent the whole day in a warehouse much like ours but on the other side of the city. I was waiting for them to come in case they were still on my track…_

_It was dark. And quite. And that's saying something since my superhearing allows me to listen to the radio in cars passing by my home…_

_Mom, I just called that place a home. That wretched forgotten metal structure… which I can abandon in fourteen minutes leaving nothing of mine behind… That's my home now._

_I don't imprint on life anymore. I pass unnoticed as a ghost. And the only people out there who know I exist are ghost hunters._

_Today I got out. One day I won't…_

_Will there be anybody to remember me?_

* * *

**11/09/2008**

_Hi!_

_I saw her today. Not accidentally. I WANTED to see her._

_Catherine._

_It's her birthday today. I'd found out the date when I checked up on her the first time… after I saved her. Today it seemed like a good milestone to see how she's doing._

_She's sad. Her friends think she's OK now, she's all composed and smiling and involved… but I can see how her eyes sadden when she exits the conversation and turns away from people._

_Her sister, Heather, tiny girl with spiky hair and fake dragon tattoo on her left shoulder blade (teenagers these days!), threw a surprise party which was not that much of a surprise since Heather doesn't really do "secret" part well… But Catherine played along and everybody had a good time… from what I could tell._

_Especially that jerk. Her boyfriend. She has a boyfriend now._

_He doesn't understand her. She's sad and he doesn't even see it. All he cares for is partying… "having the time of our lives"! Man, the girl lost her mother! She is allowed to be sad at times!_

_Mom, I tell you, it won't last for more than two weeks tops! It's just not who she is – to put up with such ignorance and rudeness… She is… different._

_I say this 'cause I know her now. This is not the first time I went to see her deliberately. I've been watching her for quite some time now._

_At first it was an accident – I saw her in the park with friends and overheard their plans to go to a nightclub with some shady fame (things you find out when you have nothing but Internet to entertain you). So I followed her… just to be safe. And then I'd followed her home… again – just to be safe._

_And then… I dunno, it felt… natural. To check up on her once in a while, to see if she's OK, if she may need my help._

_Not that she does though. Catherine is one tough independent nut, I tell you. She can take care of her life…_

_Then why do I keep following her? She obviously doesn't need a guardian angel (which I'm not… quite the opposite) or a "personal stalker" as JT calls me. I'm not a stalker, mom, I swear. I don't do anything creepy; I don't peep when she's in the shower or watch her sleep… I'm just… around._

_…_

_Don't really know how to end this letter…_

_Bye, mom_

_Your crazy V_

_P.S. Please, think I'm still normal, OK?_

* * *

**02/05/2009**

_This is all stupid! These letters, these researches – all goes in vain, noting really works out for me!_

_JT said we are on a verge of a solution… but we ended up with nothing! I'm so fed up with hitting the wall of my mysterious DNA! It's MY DNA for God's sake, why isn't it cooperating?_

_My life is hiding. The only people who know about me being alive are the ones that are trying to get me dead. I'm sick and tired of rooftops and nights. I miss being around people._

_JT is awesome, he really is! If it wasn't for him… I don't know if I would last so long…_

_But I want people! Not just some random crowd I have to hide my face from not to be recognized… I want friends, and family, and colleges!_

_I want kids. Eventually._

_Is that so much to ask? Did I do something so terribly wrong to get this punishment? Can I reverse time to get my life back?_

_But then I wouldn't meet her, would I?_

_See? I haven't even MET her and still I doubt if my old life was worth it to risk not meeting her…_

_I'm going crazy…_

* * *

**04/30/2009**

_Today I've reached a new low. I actually watched her sleep._

_Mom, I had a very solid reason! Catherine was sick, but she was trying to power through it so she denied Heather's help (and her chicken soup)... but she really needed help._

_I watched her trying to figure out what was she sick with and why wasn't she getting better. I have a very good perception of temperature, sounds, smells now… and I'm a trained doctor._

_That moron in the clinic just gave her the wrong prescription! She was about to fall into full-fledged bronchitis and he was treating her for common cold!_

_I had to come back home and take what Catherine needed (good luck is that we have a whole pharmacy… for my needs) and then go back and switch her pills._

_She got better in few days. Catherine is a fighter._

_…_

_I guess… I may be stalking her._

_But… mom… is it OK if I now have more than one reason to get back my life?_

_V_

* * *

**11/04/2009**

_We WON! Yankees WON! WE WON!_

_Rivera was great and Andy was super fantastic! Mom! We WON!_

* * *

**01/14/2010**

_I am so sorry, mom._

_I failed to be there for you._

_Miss you. Forever._

* * *

The last letter. The one he would never send now…

Pages were falling out of Catherine's hands but she was too frozen to care.

These letters were not answers or puzzle pieces or clues she'd hoped them to be. They were shards of her Vincent… Little steps that turned young man with exuberant smile from Alex's photos into hunted beast. But he was HER hunted beast, hers to protect, hers to be protected by…

That miraculous healing few years back… That boyfriend she dated for two weeks – jerk, indeed…

Catherine was in every second letter of his… And how many more died in that fire? But still… He knew her even before he knew her!

And… "Is it OK if I now have more than one reason to get back my life?" It was not about Alex, it was about her, Catherine. He wanted his life for two of them…

* * *

Knock on the door. But he already knew who's coming… not the sound of her footsteps – he recognized a sound of her heartbeats…

- Hi, - his voice was rough and he cleared it, - what you're doing here?

Catherine looked around her... bewildered by the looks of the place – there were paper cranes all over the place! They hanged like wind chimes connected with strings – all of them very little, but so very real, almost alive…

- No, Vincent, what are YOU doing?

He looked around too as if it was a first time he saw a flock of paper cranes nesting everywhere.

- Oh, this is "origami – time honored art of a rich culture", - his voice sounded mocking but warm, Catherine instantly knew he was doing the impression of JT, his "know-it-all" guy.

- And does every origami attempt have to be so… massive?

He smiled his crooked smile:

- It's Senbazuru, a thousand crane deal. You make one thousand origami cranes and get one wish granted.

She set close to him on a bad where colorful pages were spread out:

- And what was your wish?

Vincent looked her in the eyes and said simply:

- For you to come talk to me.

Just like that. He wanted to talk.

Catherine inclined her head and squinted her eyes smiling:

- Well, I'm here. Talk.

Vincent put away a piece of paper he was holding and took Catherine's hand. Her hand was so small in his big one... But it felt so right.

- Catherine, what I said at that roof - it's all true. I stand by every word. I never stopped falling for you... The thirst to be with you defines me for so long that I don't even remember what it was like not to love you.

He said it so simply, matter-of-factly... Like it was a known truth written in stone. Catherine closed her eyes and held her breath savoring the moment, this tingling sensation of joy spreading through her body...

Feeling of their fingers entwining brought Catherine back from her happiness trance. Vincent took her hand closer and kissed her palm. He then touched her palm to his cheek closing his eyes as she did earlier.

- Catherine, I want my normal life. Being able to walk on a crowded street holding someone's hand, have a romantic dinner in a nice restaurant with someone, picnic in the park... I want a life to share it with someone...

He shrugged remembering how exactly he acted out that part during these last few weeks.

- I got carried away and I will be forever sorry for the pain I had inflicted on you... But you need to know that only "someone" I see in this future normal life is you. Always has been you, always will be.

But then his voice went rigid, tired... lost. Vincent looked around and said quietly:

- But this... this is not a life, Catherine. Not the one I want to force on you, to limit you to this warehouse, to my hunted existence. Believe me, I've lived this life for too long to wish it upon somebody, especially on somebody whom I love so much.

Catherine silenced him pressing her fingers to his lips:

- Shh, I'll be the judge of what life I want to have and believe me when I say that I know exactly what I can expect from this life. But as long as you're in - I'm in too.

There were moments of blissful silence where they were content to just be together, inhaling each other's breath, counting heartbeats… Vincent smiled:

- Geez, I will never doubt JT about this origami thing! It worked out better than I thought…

Catherine smiled back with a deeper meaning to her smile he could possibly know of:

- What would you do with these? As lovely as they are, I doubt they will go well with the rest of the interior here.

Vincent looked around and nodded:

- Yeah, I think I'll send them to Crane for Cancer, it's an initiative to send cancer patients thousand paper cranes to show them support, I've seen these in the hospital when I came to see you…

Catherine nodded – she'd seen colorful paper cranes too but didn't know the significance:

- It's a very good idea! I should help you make some more!

Vincent handed her a paper and a folding scheme. His smile was mischievous:

- Plotting to get one of your own wishes done?

- Vincent, just to set record straight – these cranes had nothing to do with me coming today!

- Oh! Then what? I swear I haven't been sending any more roses or flashmobs your way…

Catherine said mysteriously with no further explanations intended:

- Let's just say… you have great best friend!

* * *

**The end**

**Hope you guys liked it =)**

* * *

**And if you want to see how beautifully authentic this fic looks like with actual letters - go here:**

_**talenevertold.**_

_**tumblr.**_

_**com/post/43660825441/batb-os-unspoken**_

**All artwork - courtesy of Brit =)**


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